In today’s post, we have come up with some of the best funny quotes that would not only make your day and cheer your mood but also add humor and fun to your everyday life. Laughter is the best medicine and it plays an important role in reducing our stress and sadness. Look, it’s useless to worry about the things that we can’t control, so it’s better to enjoy them in a hilarious and witty way to make our life less stressful. As we all know happiness is just a state of mind and finding humor in our everyday situation(work, relationships, fitness, etc) is itself a talent.
We are super busy in our everyday routine. In the hustle of achieving goals and targets, we hardly get time to light our mood. Sometimes it feels life has literally become a rat race. Adding a little bit of comedy and humor can light your mood all day long. And for that, this great collection of Funny quotes would definitely help a lot.
Funny quotes that help you to get more social
A good sense of humor has always been a plus point to get more social with others. People love to be surrounded by people who bring happy and cheerful vibes, someone who knows how to burst everyone into laughter, and for that these funny quotes gonna be so helpful for you to leave a cool impression not only on your buddies but also on your work fellows. These hilarious quotes perfectly match our day-to-day life because you would notice that most of the quotes are based on our everyday life. It not only makes us laugh but also reduces stress. After all, we should not take everything that seriously.
Best collection of funny quotes
An easy way to bring the surge of happy hormones into your body and to add a cheerful environment, this collection of funny quotes is all you need. You can also share these funny quotes with your family and friends so they can also laugh out loud with you. Share on social media or decorate your space with it in a cool and witty way, these hilarious quotes are all set to uplift your mood…!!
“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” – Unknown
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
“The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.” – Unknown
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to test gravity.” – Unknown
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” – Emo Philips
“My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry.” – Unknown
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott
“The human brain is an amazing organ. It works 24/7 from the day we’re born until we fall in love.” – Unknown
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!” – Unknown
“I’m not short. I’m concentrated awesomeness.” – Unknown
“I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“I don’t need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
“I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'” – Unknown
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
“I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.” – Drake
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – Unknown
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” – Unknown
“I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.” – Unknown
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams
“I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.” – Unknown
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.” – Unknown
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Unknown
“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
Best Funny Inspirational Quotes
“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have… of finding the remote control.” – Unknown
“The road to success is always under construction… and sometimes there’s a detour for ice cream.” – Unknown
“Believe you can, and you’re halfway there. The other half is a good cup of coffee.” – Unknown
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful… at finding joy in everyday things.” – Albert Schweitzer
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do… or to have an office with a nap pod.” – Steve Jobs
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take… but you also avoid embarrassing airballs.” – Wayne Gretzky
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams… and have a good sense of humor when things don’t go as planned.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“The best revenge is massive success… and leaving a whoopee cushion on your enemy’s chair.” – Frank Sinatra
“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going… unless it’s lunchtime. Then watch the clock like a hawk.” – Sam Levenson
“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today… and our Wi-Fi connection.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose… unless the ice cream truck is parked nearby.” – Dr. Seuss
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination… or at least not crash into the rocks.” – Jimmy Dean
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started… and not getting distracted by cute cat videos on the internet.” – Mark Twain
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop… unless there’s free pizza at the finish line.” – Confucius
“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart… and a GPS when driving in unfamiliar places.” – Roy T. Bennett
“Opportunities don’t happen. You create them… or wait for the pizza delivery guy.” – Chris Grosser
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now… or whenever you’re feeling motivated to dig a hole.” – Chinese Proverb
“Don’t count the days; make the days count… and make sure to count down to the weekend.” – Muhammad Ali
“The biggest risk is not taking any risk… but also not checking the expiration date on the milk carton.” – Mark Zuckerberg
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be… or a crazy cat lady.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream… or to eat cake for breakfast.” – C.S. Lewis
“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it… or too busy watching funny cat videos.” – Henry David Thoreau
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle… unless it’s a spider.” – Christian D. Larson
“The harder I work, the luckier I get… and the more pizza I can afford.” – Gary Player
“Don’t watch the clock; create the life that you want… but set an alarm for important appointments.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do… and occasionally take a dance break.” – Maya Angelou
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams… and have a healthy stash of chocolate.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them… or expect your phone battery to die at the worst possible moment.” – Michael Jordan
“Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great… or to give up on parallel parking and find a different spot.” – John D. Rockefeller
“I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse… except when I really wanted to take a nap.” – Florence Nightingale
Best funny sayings
I believe in the immortality of the soul because I have within me immortal longings. ~Helen Keller
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just performing random acts of gravity.”
“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode… or maybe my battery is just low.”
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing… like my ability to find matching socks.”
“I’m not a morning person. I’m a ‘don’t talk to me until the coffee kicks in’ person.”
“I’m not addicted to chocolate. We’re just in a committed relationship.”
“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas… that I’d like you to implement immediately.”
“I’m not aging, I’m marinating… or maybe I just need a good moisturizer.”
“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right in a way that makes you realize you’re wrong.”
“I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my selective hearing.”
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized… and ready to take on the world.”
