Are you struggling to live your everyday life normally and want to know how to get over social anxiety? Do you easily get uncomfortable in public? Whenever you are surrounded by people, it feels like they are staring at you and talking about you.
You often worry about something wrong that will happen to you such as messing things up, saying something offensive to someone unintentionally, doing something embarrassing, or being mistreated by others. All your insecurities and the fear of being judged by others always make you super nervous. If you’re the one who is going through this situation then we can understand how challenging it would be for you to deal with your everyday task.
Effect of social anxiety on career and social life
When it comes to how to get over social anxiety, probably you may end up getting even more confused because most of the time we don’t have any idea where to start and whom to approach for help. Nobody is gonna understand how it feels to have social anxiety or any kind of anxiety disorder until they experience it by themself.
Social anxiety not only affects your social life and stops you from enjoying things that you love (such as going to the gym, going to hobby classes, and attending parties and events) but it also makes a negative impact on your career.
The work environment, meetings, presentations, toxic boss, and of course the “workload” can make you depressed. You may also feel like you hate going to your job and confronting people every day but you don’t have any other option as you got bills to pay. In short, it feels like living a life that you don’t want.
Everybody experiences social anxiety differently, the thing that triggers you and makes you super nervous doesn’t trigger the other person so most of the time it depends from person to person.
Do people born with social anxiety or develop it?
Some people may have social anxiety since childhood, it’s just how their nervous system works and alert the threat even if there is not a real danger. The habit of thinking on a deeper level and imagining the worst-case scenario is the real struggle with people dealing with any kind of anxiety.
On the other hand, an individual may develop social anxiety after trauma, assault, or any kind of embarrassment that has drastically affected their self-esteem. The reason could be anything but the thing that matters is “finding the solutions” and here the complicated part begins.
Social anxiety is like a loop
The worst thing about social anxiety is in some cases it holds you back from seeking the help of a professional psychiatrist. You may think they would judge you and see you as a loser or even if this is not the case your anxiety still holds you back from approaching for help. But as we all know, the beginning is always hard.
The best part is you can overcome social anxiety. It might be a slow process and chances are you would not see a quick result but you have to be patient and trust the process. In this post, we have tried to cover easy and effective tips to help you get over your social anxiety. Let’s dive deep.
12 best tips how to get over social anxiety
1. It’s okay to be embarrassed don’t overthink about it
One of the major causes of social anxiety is the fear of embarrassment. We think too much even in small situations. Even if there are a group of people talking with each other, you would think like:
“They must be talking about me”
“They must be judging me”
“ Are they talking about the way I look?”
“ Are they making fun of the way I dress?”
Even if you want to order your favorite coffee, pizza, or something else in a cafe you would think too much about it.
Keep in mind that it’s okay to be embarrassed, it’s not a big deal. Everyone is busy in their own lives and no one is so free to observe and judge others. Some people may do that but you don’t need to give them attention, especially when you are working toward how to get over social anxiety.
Ignore the shits as much as possible. We are not perfect and it’s okay to make small mistakes as long as you are not hurting anyone. The more you worry about the scenario, the higher the chances of messing things up(it’s just my point of view).
2. Take baby-steps
No doubt, anxiety is a horrible feeling, and the worst part is no one can understand it except the person who is going through all these problems. Even if you would ask them how do I get over my social anxiety, they would hardly give you useful advice as they have never experienced things the way you do. So, people may just give you advice such as leave your comfort zone, meet new people, get up and get out, party hard, and so on but only you know it’s not that simple.
Possibilities are even if you push yourself to confront the situation or face your fear, you may become extremely nervous and you may even get a nervous breakdown(just in the worst-case scenario). So, it’s better to take baby-step, one step at a time…!!
Pick up your diary or notebook and make a to-do list to overcome your social anxiety. Write down very basic and easiest things that you can do easily. I’m sure there must be so many things that you can do. Start to accompany your friends and family and be there whenever they need your help, slowly you can level up your challenges.
3. Write them down and address your triggers point
Journaling can be so beneficial when you are struggling with how do I get over social anxiety. Take a notebook and write everything that comes to your mind related to your social anxiety. Don’t try to be creative, and choosy, and don’t worry about spelling and grammatical mistakes as well. Choose a specific time and make a habit of journaling each day. I think before going to bed is the best time, you can choose any time that suits you.
Now, try to address your problems and all the negative thoughts that make you anxious. Once you have identified your problem or the points that trigger you, it would be easy to find the solution for that. Apart from this, try to track your thoughts and change negative thoughts into positive ones.
4. Turn your anxiety into excitement
This one is going to be super crazy and you must give it a try if you seriously wanna overcome your social anxiety.
If there are upcoming meetings, a social gathering, or something else that you think will make you socially anxious just start tricking your mind by telling it-
“I’m super excited about the meeting”,
“I am excited to meet new people, it’s gonna be awesome”
“It’s gonna be so much fun”
“I will just nail it”,
“I just can’t wait to do this”,
“I want it more, I am just crazy for it” etc.
Let me tell you an interesting example: When I was a kid, I didn’t like eating ladyfingers, but my mom used to cook them. And most of the time I had no other option so I just started pretending that I love it so much, I started faking the pleasure of its taste in every single bite… I still don’t know how it happened but now I love it. Well, this example was not related to anxiety but you can still use this trick. You should also try this trick to change your fear into excitement. You should at least give it a try to deal with your everyday task.
5. Boost your mood with a healthy diet
A well-balanced diet plays a crucial role in dealing with anxiety. It might help to boost your mood and can also be beneficial in coping with the physical symptoms of anxiety. Vitamins and minerals such as vitamin D, Vitamin B complex, magnesium, zinc, omega fatty acids, etc may be helpful for you, especially when you are working on how do you get over social anxiety. So, make sure to take a healthy diet and avoid alcohol to improve your mental as well as physical fitness.
6. Meditation: Stay consistent and practice it strictly
Meditation is one of the best things to get help dealing with anxiety. It not only helps your mind to function properly but also prevents negative thoughts. It increases your awareness and concentration. It makes you more active and reduces stress. When it comes to how to get over my social anxiety, meditation is gonna be so helpful with it.
You should also practice deep breathing exercises on a regular basis. It’s a part of yoga and meditation. Apart from anxiety, it has several other health benefits. Meditation and deep breathing exercises not only improve your mental health but also may help in reducing the physical symptoms of social anxiety including nervousness, sweating, fast heartbeat, trembling, upset stomach, etc.
So, pick a notebook and add it to your to-do list. Don’t even think about missing a single day. You don’t need to worry about perfection. You can start by practicing it for 5-10 minutes every day and can slowly increase the timing. There are lots of videos available on youtube, you can even start with those videos.
7. Listening to Positive affirmation
Positive affirmation is another great practice for coping with not only social anxiety but also other emotions as well as mental issues. As we all know our subconscious mind is much more responsible for the way we act and deal with regular as well as unpredictable situations. It may help you reprogram your subconscious mind in a more powerful way. It could be slightly similar to the tips I mentioned above “turn your fear into excitement”, but it’s not the same.
Again, youtube is gonna help with this as well. There are several free videos you can find on youtube. Just search for “positive affirmation guided meditation” or something like this and you would see several useful videos over there. The best part is most of the videos are with binary vibrations so it’s gonna be a relaxing session itself. You’re gonna love it.
8. Be confident
Be confident and don’t think of yourself as less than anyone. It’s okay if you are dealing with social anxiety, you should be proud that you are strong enough to face this type of challenge that life gives you.
If other people would be feeling the same situation as you are, probably they would also face all the problems. Be confident about your point of view, it’s okay if someone does not agree with you or criticizes you. Criticism is okay, take them positively.
Try new things and experience more to gain your confidence. The more you get exposure and share different things, the more you gain confidence. Allow yourself to step out and do more. Be aware of around you and stay up-to-date. These simple efforts help you to be more confident.
Self-belief is another important factor to boost self-esteem. One of the main reasons for feeling anxious around people is lacking self-belief because you always think you are not good enough at whatever you are trying to do. You doubt your ability, capacity, and your skills. You always underestimate yourself and perhaps you get an inferiority complex easily.
Believe in yourself, trust your ability and sharpen your skill so you can feel confident about your own individuality. It’s gonna bring big positive changes in your life. So, when it comes to how to get over your social anxiety, remember that believing in yourself is a crucial part of your journey.
10. Allow yourself to socialize more using these easy tips
Start with the people you are comfortable with. Try to engage your friends and family members and spend more time with them. Accompany them whenever they need your support. Plus, Don’t miss a single opportunity to go out with them, accompany them there as well.
Slowly, try to engage with your friend’s friends and other relatives. If any of them sounds toxic or not so supportive, it’s better to avoid them. Don’t stop networking, if someone is not supportive that doesn’t mean all the people are toxic out there.
Believe me, people love to get engaged and help others. On this journey, you would meet good as well as bad people but make sure not to get demotivated. Remember that you are more than what you think.
Along with this, keep excited to do your everyday tasks such as going grocery shopping, fixing appointments, talking to the receptionist, ordering food at the cafe by yourself, and so on. Slowly you would be comfortable doing all this thing alone.
The more you stay in your comfort zone the harder it becomes to overcome your social anxiety. So, when it comes to how to get over social anxiety make sure you are following this point with full consistency.
11. Cognitive Behavior therapy (CBT)
Cognitive behavior therapy is an essential step in dealing with social anxiety. It’s a talking therapy where a therapist helps you to identify the negative thoughts that make you anxious about a particular situation or a thing and try to change your negative thoughts into positive ones.
The good part about this therapy is an individual can also go with a self-help course(easily available online) and can do CBT on their own. It is still gonna be effective but make sure the self-help course you choose is from a trusted organization. And, if you feel there is a need to consult a therapist, please go for it.
12. Professional help: consulting the therapist
While dealing with any kind of mental issue, consulting a professional is highly recommended, especially when it comes to how can I get over social anxiety. It can incredibly bring change in the way you think and deal with your problems.
But the problem is a mental issue is still considered taboo in some societies so I think it could be also a reason for some people not to go with professional help. Another reason is “social anxiety” itself which holds us back from seeking a psychiatrist. Consulting a psychiatrist must be the first thing you should go for.
The bottom line
It’s the perfect time to start working on how to get over social anxiety. Escaping from your everyday life and your responsibility is not an option. Wherever you go, it will chase. We understand Connecting with people in your day-to-day lifestyle might be challenging for you while dealing with social anxiety, but you can not spend your entire life with the phobia.
The best option is to make up your mind to overcome it and find a possible solution for your problem. The thing that you need to keep in mind is “never give up”, especially when it comes to how do I get over my social anxiety. It could be a slow process, and it may even take some time but it’s completely normal because your problem is not the same as the others. So, trust the process and allow yourself to accept the change, Best of luck..!! I believe you can do it.